BirthControlBuzz Blog

The birth control we use today such as birth control pills and condoms did not just come to be as they are today. In fact, there were many ridiculous failed attempts at birth control before they came up with something decent. These contraceptive prototypes may seem moronic now, but at one point people actually believed they worked.

7. Hot Mercury

In ancient China, women drank hot mercury the day after sex in order to prevent pregnancy. Mercury - The poisonous element inside thermometers that is deadly and can cause immediate toxic effects and can destroy all of the human body systems if it gets into the blood stream. Bad idea. You'd be better off committing suicide.

6. Sea Sponge

In Ancient Persia, women used sea sponges soaked in vinegar or alcohol and inserted them into the vagina to inhibit sperm from entering the uterus. This is a horrible method because not only does it require the extraction of a helpful ecological sea-organism from its environment, but it can cause some serious damage to vaginal walls when soaked in a substance like alcohol or vinegar. In addition, a sea sponge will act as a filter, so it's probably not a good idea to rely on it for contraception.

5. Rocks?

This method is just outrageous. In Egypt, they used to insert rocks into the uterus to irritate the uterine walls preventing a fertilized egg from attaching to the uterus. (A prototype of todays intrauterine systems) Why is this so outrageous? Because not only does it cause severe irritation to the uterus, but bacteria on the rocks could spread throughout the inside of the uterus causing severe problems and possibly death. Don't try this at home.

After they realized the serious side effects of the rock method, women tried using apricot seeds in the same way. Needless to say, it was also a failed method.

4. Plugs

No, not hair plugs - vaginal plugs... made of wood. Yes. It is true, there were many women in the 19th century who tried using a plug-shaped stopper made of wood to block sperm from reaching the uterus. It was a tragic fail. There is nothing else to say about this one but nice try - now what do we do about the splinters?

3. Herbs

Many civilizations believed that the right herbs could heal or prevent almost ANYTHING - including pregnancy. Herbs called "emmenagogue" were plants that could stimulate menstruation in females, so they would take these herbs as a form as contraceptive. What they didn't know is that pregnancy is still possible during menstruation so many of them probably got themselves pregnant with this attempted method.

Although those methods are idiotic and irrational, and we all know that no one would ever try them in modern times, there are still some modern failed birth control attempts out there that couples are trying, only to find themselves with a baby 9 months later.

2. Flushing

There are couples out there who are using things like Lysol and carbonated drinks after sex to "flush out" and kill the sperm in the vagina. There are several reasons why this is a fail. Even if you flush out the sperm in the vagina, it does not affect the sperm that was ejaculated immediately into the uterus through the cervix. Those guys are long gone and out of reach. In addition, putting any acidic or sugary foreign substance in the vagina is a bad idea. The skin and flesh there is very sensitive and will most likely result in infection, irritation, or a yeast infection.

1. Homemade condom



Yes - it is exactly what it sounds like. This is by far the stupidest idea ever thought of. I can't even process this idea without asking myself "why would anyone in their right mind do such a thing??". There are many couples out there who are making their own condoms with plastic materials like plastic bags, saran wrap, or used chip bags. Not only are these materials prone to break with enough force, but using them as a condom is unsanitary and uncivilized. Bacteria can spread from these items to the vagina causing discomfort and irritation. They will not hold up during intercourse and probably rip - making them useless as contraception. The chip bag method is the worst idea because of its rough sharp texture that will cut the walls of the vagina causing bleeding. I beg you - please do not do this. The common sense of civilization will quickly diminish if you do.

Birth Control Buzz is a service company that provides birth control prices, types of birth control(prescription required), health administrative services, and birth control statistics predominantly to US patients seeking to purchase pharmaceuticals on-line. For more information, call 1-866-868-8850 or visit http://www.birthcontrolbuzz.com/.